Children of Divorced Parents

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Divorce is a complicated process that entails several legal formalities as per the circumstances that lie between both the spouses. A divorce condition mainly occurs when spouses find no effective way to resolve all of the issues arising from their relationship. . If the situation goes worse especially when the spouses are not on talking terms, it is the court that take matters at hand and issue a verdict. Apart from legal proceedings, there are various personal problems that can be raised during a divorce process. A turmoil divorce process can greatly affect the emotional state of other family members, especially children. It is observed that even after declaration of a divorce decree, divorced spouses are left with finding feasible solution to some of the personal issues like, dealing with depressed child after divorce, solving all child's queries and likewise. As a result, here we are providing detailed information regarding divorce and its major effects on children who witness the divorce process of their parents. All general and usual reactions of children going through the phase where his or her parents are getting divorce, are described below.

Initial reactions of Children of Divorced Parents

Pre-school (2.5 to 6 years)

• Difficulties in expressing feelings
• Fantasies about reconciliation
• Confusion
• Fear of getting abandoned by non custodial parent
• More possibility that they blame themselves for the divorce

• Able to use extra-familiar support in a better way
• More possibility that they start making distance from both the parents
• Less possibility that they blame themselves for the divorce
• The academic performance of the child may get affected because of their emotions like anger, fear and sadness, which mainly result after seeing their parents being separated from each other.

• More possibility that they may stop believing in marriages and hence, they also find it difficult to start their own marital life at this stage
• Display difficulty in adjusting with sadness, shame, outrage and anger

Pre-school (2.5 to 6 years)

• Feel angry towards an unavailable non custodial parent
• Develop a close bond with custodial parent and competent step parent
• Have less memories related to their parent's conflict or their own conflict

• Have disturbed peer relationships
• Display decreased academic performance
• There is a throwback i.e., during conflict, they may say, "you are not my real father / mother"
• Might challenge family rules and regulations
• Experience difficulties in adjusting to step-parenting and remarriage of their parents

• Children may get involved with drug addiction or something to avoid the pain or hurt that is gained from parent's divorce condition
• Develop a fear for long term relations in their own life

After sufficient study, it has been concluded that children, whose parents have been divorced, take an oath not to repeat the errors of their parents. They also wish that their children should not be forced through the same circumstances that they have undergone. However, such aims of the children of divorced parents face unfavorable conditions too.

There is a phenomenon named "Intergenerational transmission of divorce" or "the divorce cycle." As per this, when a child grows up in a divorced family, the possibility that this child would terminate his/her marriage (when he/she grows up) is more. In order to understand a divorce cycle, one should visualize a cascade. When a marriage terminates, it begins a cycle that intimidates to impact increasing number of people with time. The most sever impact can be seen on children in the family.

It has also been found that the children who have experienced their parents divorce are more likely to do the following.

• Marry in their teenage
• Cohabit and marry an individual who is also a child of divorced parents
• When they cross 20 years of age, the possibility to marry decreases by 33%.

If couples who come from intact families are compared with couples who came from divorced families, then, the possibility that the latter would divorce is 3 times more than the former. On the other side, there is another possibility that people may have lesser chance to get separated as they are already aware of common marital issues between couples and very well aware of their solutions.

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