Christian Divorce Counseling
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Divorce counseling is a last attempt to save the marriage. As for Christians, marriage is an unbreakable bond for a lifetime. Therefore, all efforts should be taken to save a marriage and solve the conflicts between partners. Divorce counseling from a Christian counselor can be a good option to resolve all marital issues. Here are some tips to choose a suitable counselor to guide you in a proper way.
Selection of counselor for Christian Divorce Counseling
- Biblical counseling trains parents to guide their children. The Bible states that the best method of implementing real change is to counsel the children along with their parents. However, some counselors have a private talk with children and do not involve the parents in this discussion. The counselor, who tries to collaborate the parents with children, proves to be a better counselor.
- The spouse seeking guidance must ask the prospective counselor whether he/she seriously adheres to the commandment "not separate what God has joined together". If yes, then whether this counselor advises the couple together for working towards real changes. It is observed that some counselors split couples to focus on individual issues. So, it is advisable to get clear about the strategy of the counselor first.
- The spouse must access the ABC network to find out a Biblical counseling center in the neighborhood. This center should be able to offer in-house training.
- The counselor must understand the teachings of the Bible that imply that a person is in need of counseling of God and His revealed truth. Such a counselor must be able to indicate real answers. It is undesirable to approach counselors, who believe in self focus and self approach. The counselors using practical techniques and tact should not be preferred.
- The counselor must be adequately concerned about change that is honored by God. Several counselors are skillful in diagnosis, but cannot guide the spouses to implement the change in a better manner. Simple diagnosis given by such counselors is not enough to solve the queries.
- The counselor should have sound and relevant knowledge of the theology and concerned matters. Several counselors have views on God, problems and changes that have been developed not by God's word but by pop-psychology and culture. One should not aim to hire such a counselor.
- The counselor should be able to know the real truth and implications of real change as stated in the Bible. Counselor must be able to understand the queries of the spouses and answer them in a satisfactory manner. The queries can be related to the assistance of Bible while going through the marital problems or providing true meaning of the sacred quotes in relation to the importance of marriage. The spouses should feel free to ask questions to their counselor.
Common mistakes in Christian Divorce Counseling
- Mixing in the community is an important requirement for the continued growth of the counselee. The counselor should not direct the counselee into loneliness. The person should get encouragement to get indulged in social events.
- Some counselors behave as if they have the authority to preach about the sins committed by the counselee and delicately patronize them. It should be strictly avoided.
- Many counselors take an approach of blaming either of the partners for the breaking of marriage. This may cause a rift between the partners. Therefore, a counselor should have a balanced approach towards the situation.
- It is possible that counselors who read and memorize scriptures all day long show little effect of what they read. This is because their hearts are not involved in what they do. The counselor should be able to concentrate on the issue and take assistance from the Bible.
- Some counselors keep a safe distance from the counselee fearing that they may get acquainted with the same approach towards life and marriage. The counselor should have strong roots of belief and knowledge to deal with such attitudes.
- At times, the counselor just overlooks the problem between the couple. In this process, he/she does not address the root issues of the matter.
So, these are some guidelines to choose a counselor for a Christian divorce and related issues. The counselor should take all efforts to save a marriage as it is important according to the religious scripts. The mistakes that are mentioned should be avoided to obtain the best results with this type of counseling.