How to explain Divorce to a Child
Divorce Papers > Child Divorce > How to explain Divorce to a Child
While explaining divorce to a child, the parents must ensure that the following messages are passed on to the child.
- Daddy and Mummy will always love you
- All the situations would work out okay
- We are presently talking about 'change' and not about 'blame'
- Daddy and Mummy will perpetually be your parents
- You are not responsible for the present situation
Steps regarding how to explain divorce to a child
- The foremost message that parents must convey to a child is that the divorce is not due to the child. The parents must add that henceforth, they cannot coexist in a joyous manner with each other. However, daddy and mummy would continue to love the child in the same way as they did in the past
- Now, the parent must state that he/she cannot continue his/her life with the other parent or his/her love for the other parent has vanquished. It is very challenging to talk with the child regarding this point. The parent, talking with the child, must never include the other parent in this discussion. This parent must always retain the child as the focus of any talk
- The parent must clarify that the child is his/her prime concern. Although the present changes would be hard to digest for the child, in the long run they would be beneficial for everybody concerned. The parent must ascertain that he/she has told the child that all that the child expects from the parents, both the parents would provide it
- The parent should ask the child to express his/her feelings, suggestions and inputs regarding the custody and visitation plan. The result of this step is that the child develops a feeling that he/she has some control over his/her own life
- The parent should encourage his/her child to shoot out queries and questions. In response, the parent should have an honest approach in his/her replies to the child. This is a very tricky step. If the parent lies and later the child detects it, the child would not forget it and consequently, never trust the parent from that moment onwards
Questions regarding how to explain divorce to a child
When a parent is explaining divorce to a child, the child might shoot certain questions. The parent must be prepared with honest and candid replies to these questions. If possible, the parents must provide answers to such queries even before the child asks those. These questions are generally related to what would remain same in the life and what would change.
Some of the questions are as follows:
- Would I be able to continue my favorite activities?
- Is it possible that I would be able to attend camp in the approaching summer?
- Would my school remain the same or would it change?
- Can I meet my old friends and talk with them?
- Where would daddy stay and where would mummy?
- Would my house change?
- With whom shall I stay?