Divorce Tips

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Marriage is a truthful union of two souls based on trust and commitment. It is no fairy tale that we used to dream in our adolescent years. People grow, circumstances change, conflicts begin, love ends, and with all these the dream of a happy marriage is shattered into a harsh reality that ends up with a divorce. Divorce can be the most unfortunate decision of your life, but taken at the right point of time, this big decision will help you choose your priorities and live life in your own terms. Once you decide for a legal separation, you must be mentally and financially ready to endure the long legal procedures. The important divorce tips presented here will help you take the right decision in the right way.

Some common divorce tips

After a thorough analysis of different divorce advices put forward by eminent lawyers and certified divorce financial analysts, we have prepared a list of important divorce tips that are cited below:

  • Mutual Agreement: Go for a hassle-free divorce by having a mutual agreement over all matters. In consultation with your partner, take the help of a financial planner to settle issues like division of property or alimony. Other than this, both of you can sit together and think about who will take the custody of the child/children. Remember that the future of your child/children is of utmost importance to you and not your ego. Do care about your partner's feelings for the child and allow him/her visitation rights post-divorce. If you want to avoid the legal proceedings to a greater extent, you must go for an uncontested divorce where most of the work is done by your attorney once you sign the mutual agreement.

  • Proper Financial Planning: It is important to check all your financial records, make copies and keep those in a safe place. These papers include bank records, business records, credit card statements, account statements from banks and investment firms, joint debts, joint bank accounts, joint insurance policies, stock certificates, annuities and many more. Keeping records of all these will surely help you in the midst of legal proceedings; otherwise it may make the process a lengthier one. Don't forget to convert joint bank accounts to single holder accounts. In addition, you and your partner should be ready to pay debts that both of you agreed to pay when you were married.

  • Identity Check: Check all personal and business documents to ensure that all your personal particulars like name, address, and contact numbers are correct. Also search for any information about you, that is available on the Internet and if you find any incorrect information, contact the web-master.

  • Online Divorce or DIY Divorce: For a quick and less-complicated divorce, choose online divorce or DIY (do-it-yourself) divorce services. You can get all the important divorce papers and forms and information on state laws.

Divorce Tips for U.S. Citizens: In U.S.A., almost 50% of the marriages end up in legal separation. The legal procedures differ from one state to another according to the federal divorce laws. Every state in the United States has laid down different rules of divorce. Apart from these rules, there are certain points that every individual who is attempting a divorce should know. It is practically impossible to enumerate all such points in a single article. However, some of these relevant divorce tips related to each state have been listed in the articles at the bottom of this page.

The term "divorce tips" encompasses a wide range of topics starting right from the petition to custody and visitation to judgment and ending at post-judgment issues. They would certainly provide an insight to the different aspects of the divorce.

Here are some topics associated with divorce tips:

A divorce will reshape your life in many ways. You will no longer share responsibilities along with your partner. For some, it becomes really difficult to bear the sole responsibilities, for example, doing the household chores or maintaining balance between professional and personal life. Use all the divorce tips that will help you in handling complications during and after divorce

Let us go through divorce tips given for various states in US:

New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
West Virginia

Quick Divorce

The percentage of marriages in the US that end up in a divorce has soared to 50 percent. At the same time, more and more people are finding that quick divorce is an economical and more secure substitute to the traditional divorce.

The route of rapid divorce is open for the following type of couples:

  • Those who do not have any children less than 18 years of age and consequently no child support conflicts
  • Couples who do not have any financial debts
  • Couples who can reach a consensus regarding property distribution on a friendly note before embarking on the path of divorce.

When both the divorcing partners accede with one another to end the marital status swiftly, this can be achieved in a matter of days.

The procedure of a quick divorce is not far different from the traditional divorce.

  • One of the divorcing partners or a representative of the partners files a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
  • The Petition is served to the spouse
  • The spouse simply signs the agreement and returns it
  • The divorcing parties need not attend the actual proceedings in the court
  • There is no need of any oral testimonies
  • All the divorce paperwork is signed and then filed in the courthouse
  • There is a waiting period of 90 days from the date of filing
  • On completion of the waiting period, the judge dissolves the marriage

Rapid divorce has a huge advantage of saving in expenditure. In the recent past (after 2000 A.D.), the following figures were obtained.

  • If individuals filed divorce by themselves, the expenses were 100 USD inclusive of filing fees, stamping and certifications
  • If individuals filed through divorce companies, there was a flat fee of 300 to 500 USD.

By this method, the Petitioner saved time and stress of the courthouse

Here are some topics associated with quick divorce:

Low Cost Divorce

Some of the methods to undergo a low cost divorce have been detailed below.

  • The person seeking divorce can opt for a 'pro se divorce.' One method is to start a 'do it yourself divorce.' Another method is to approach agents in the county government or in the legal system that would help this person in filing of the paperwork
  • Prior to the pretrial hearing, both the partners seeking divorce must collect all the relevant paperwork and attend all the mandatory classes. Due to this, these partners need to appear in court frequently to raise the expenses of the divorce
  • Some people have assets worth 200 USD and spend 2000 USD in an attempt to procure it. Hence, it is advisable to make a list of all the assets and decide their present worth. This method is very useful as it is possible for both partners to sit together and amicably distribute the assets
  • If both the partners seeking divorce want to ascertain a low cost divorce, they must make it a point to agree with each other, at least on the important issues in the divorce. A specific case is as follows. If these two are in a community state, it is obvious that each would get 50 percent of the assets. So, they can distribute the property amongst themselves, instead of the judge making the distribution
  • Once the partners have reached an agreement, they must produce it in written form. Thereafter, they must continue open communication with one another as well as the children. While doing so, they must be open to changes. The parents must never use the children as a messenger between them
  • As far as child custody is concerned, the present scenario is such that most frequently 'joint custody' is selected. This implies that both parents have the right to take decisions regarding the child. However, the child has primary residence with only one parent
  • Some persons hire a flat fee attorney to minimize the legal costs
  • If one spouse desires something from the other, he/she should ask it directly. If both agree regarding the deal, they must produce it in written form. In case of any dispute, both must avoid approaching the court immediately. This can raise the expenses of the divorce
  • When there are disputes regarding custody, assets etc, it is wise to hire a mediator. This step is a low cost alternative that is also useful if any partner was receiving royalties or money from other settlements or doing any business
  • The partners should educate themselves about the divorce laws in their state. Both must maintain honesty about their income or else it would lead to considerable grief later

Here is a topic associated with low cost divorce:

  • If an individual can classify himself/herself as 'indigent', he/she is eligible for low cost lawyers
Good Divorce

A good divorce is marked by the following features.

  • Both the partners emerge out of the divorce proceedings with a reasonable ability to resolve their conflicts on their own or with the intermittent help of a mediator
  • Both the partners wish the other partner a good future. Each partner supports their children to abide by the other partner's lifestyle or adjust with the new mate
  • There is effective communication between the two partners. Their mode of communication is helpful for cooperative parenting
  • There exists some basic trust between the partners. If there is any conflict, one partner gives the benefit of doubt to the other
  • The father as well as the mother has a feeling that the settlement they reached was fair for both. None of them feel that they are victimized by the divorce procedure or by their ex-spouse. There are no dramatic or glaring differences between the couple
  • After the divorce is complete, both have attained a respectful place in society. Alternatively, they have created a network of friends. One more aspect is that both have started to date or have found a new partner

A good divorce is possible in case of couples, who maintain minimum contact with the court system and/or the divorce lawyers. Such couples are not willing to surrender the control of their divorce process to the adversary system. On the contrary, they desire to maintain control over it themselves. These partners are successful in management of their strong feelings. They ensure that their actions would not impair their future lives.

In case of any divorce, loneliness, fear of loss, anger and sadness cannot be prevented. However, bitterness towards one another is not a mandatory effect of any divorce. Now, it is essential to understand that a decision to divorce does not essentially give rise to bitterness. On the other hand, the adversarial procedure is responsible for this feeling. The divorcing partners feel terrorized and debased by the other partner's attorney. This results in anger and consequently, a poisoning of the relationship between the two partners. Further, mutual trust and cordial communication becomes impossible. In order to ensure a good divorce, the above mentioned sequence of events must be avoided.

Each couple, on the verge of a divorce, must maintain this thought in their mind that they can ensure a good divorce. For this, they have to successfully negotiate a post divorce arrangement, so that they and their children can have a smooth transition from married to divorced life. This arrangement is drafted in the form of 'divorce agreement' or 'settlement agreement.' This comprises of a description of the mutual rights and responsibilities of both the parties as well as a resolution of all the disputable issues. In a nutshell, it is a blueprint of the future life of the family.

Here are some topics associated with good divorce:

How to Stop a Divorce

The topic divorce is disliked by everybody. However, due to irreconcilable differences, the partners conclude that the only solution is to apply for divorce. Let us consider that one partner has filed for divorce. If there is love between the partners, the finalization of the divorce can be prevented. One must bear in mind that it is never very late to make some efforts regarding 'how to stop a divorce' and thereby save a marriage.

Let us look at the tips on how to stop a divorce

The respondent (i.e. who is served the petition) is in need of the cooperation of the petitioner (i.e. who has submitted the petition) to stop the divorce process. For this, the respondent must attempt to determine the precise cause regarding why the petitioner has filed for divorce. Further, the respondent must devise satisfactory solutions for all the reasons of the filing. Now, the respondent must explain all the solutions to the petitioner and point out how the marriage can be saved

Both the partners must understand that they are equally responsible if they want their relationship to prosper. So, both of them should speak with each other regarding the causes of filing divorce papers. Each of them should take complete responsibility for their faults. This step can be pride-crushing, humbling and difficult. However, both the partners should keep their ego aside and execute this step with a greater aim of stopping the divorce The respondent can request the petitioner to put the divorce case on hold. Both the partners can then try to reconcile their differences for a better future. If the reconciliation is successful, then the respondent can further request the petitioner to close the case completely. The respondent should tell the petitioner that if the reconciliation fails, the money and effort invested while filing the petition would not be wasted

The respondent can make a call to the court and request for a postponement. The court would allocate a new hearing date. Thus, the respondent would get more time to convince the petitioner about reconciliation

If all the above methods fail, the partners should attend the divorce hearing. During this hearing, the respondent can make a request for mediation. Due to this, the petitioner would be flattered and he/she would feel that the respondent is fighting to save the marriage. Mediation is an opportunity for both partners to express and make known their true feelings about all issues. The partners can remind each other about the reasons why they had decided to make a lifelong commitment prior to their marriage. These memories might play a role in reconciliation

The next option is that the respondent can tell his/her lawyer to request couple's counseling. During counseling, the partners must exhibit willingness to shoulder responsibility of their choices and must be loving, honest and candid. The respondent must state that he/she is ready to alter the circumstances that were responsible for damaging their relationship. These attempts might alter the mind of the petitioner

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