Divorce Mediation Tips
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The concept of divorce mediation has slowly gained popularity during the last decade in USA. 'Mediation' as the term signifies is a simple way of settling conflicts between two individuals who want separation from each other. A mediator provides information about the legal rights and legal system; but he can neither give advice to any party nor speak in favor of any party. Divorce mediation tips will make you ready for the sessions so that you can voice your issues and understand the solutions in a better way.
What happens in Mediated Divorce?
Divorce mediation can include a neutral mediator, lawyer's of both parties or a lawyer-mediator who will provide information about partner's legal queries. Divorce mediation sessions may continue for some days (usually 1-3 hrs long) or for a very short period, depending on the complexity of issues to be solved, the ability of the partners to negotiate and also on the mutual consent of the three parties (husband, wife and mediator).
- In the first session, the mediator and the divorcing couple identifies all the important issues. The mediator advises the couple to gather all the information like financial papers that are to be gathered and shared.
- During the later sessions, the neutral mediator shows ways how the problems can be resolved so that both parties are satisfied.
- Once both parties come to a mutual agreement, the mediator drafts the legal agreement. The couple and their lawyers, if any, go through the fair agreement. Once the agreement is signed by both parties, it becomes enforceable.
Divorce Mediation Tips when approaching the session
- If the divorcing partners are of the opinion that there is a single solution to the issues in conflict, they refuse to compromise and behave in a stubborn manner. However, it is advisable to approach mediation with an open mind and be ready to listen to others. Due to this, it becomes possible to have a brainstorming session. Thus, the possibility of finding a solution to the conflict increases.
- Prior to attending a session, the divorcing partners must do homework. They must speculate about the various proposals and jot down these on paper. If this paper is carried at the mediation, the partners would not forget to talk about any specific issue during the session.
- It must be borne in mind that a mediation session is not a venue to focus on the other partner. Both should not make arguments like "she said" or "he said".
- The gist of mediation is to strike a balance between self desires, the spouse's desire and the needs of the children. If the going gets tensed, the parents must keep in mind that they should look forward to the bright future of their children.
Divorce Mediation Tips in the form of Do's and Don'ts
- Do not attend a mediation without any preparation.
- Do remain present at a session, while being prepared with the following:
- A business-like and flexible attitude
- A calendar that points out the schedule of the activities of the children, work schedules and school holidays
- A proposal for time-sharing and custody plan
- Do not aim to punish the spouse by withholding children.
- Do recognize that the children are in need of sharing time with both parents and that too in a secure ambiance. Accordingly, a parenting plan must be developed.
- The parents should not bad-mouth one another.
- Each divorcing partner must admit that the other spouse has certain strengths. So, only valid concerns regarding the spouse's ability to take care of the child must be voiced.
- No person attending a mediation should have a presumption that there exists a standard plan that is suitable for all children.
- Every parent must acknowledge that as per the development, temperament and age of the child, the child has certain special needs.
- If the parenting plan is being discussed, no one present at a session must prop up the property or child support or other issues.
- Do not concentrate on the needs of the parents in child custody mediation.
- Do concentrate on the requirements of the child.
General Mediation Tips
- The divorcing partner should not become angry at the other partner's proposal.
- Any partner should never refuse to negotiate.
- Those present at a session should not be afraid of taking the initiative in any issue.
- It is essential that both divorcing partners make a complete disclosure freely and voluntarily
- Nobody should set a deadline or give an ultimatum.
- Everybody should maintain a cordial ambiance.
A recent study reveals that more than 95% of divorces are uncontested in the USA and this rate includes a considerable number of mediated divorce. Mediation is flexible and voluntary. Divorce mediation tips prove beneficial for divorcing couples who want to resolve issues like child support, financial matters and other areas where the separating couples need to take decisions jointly post-divorce.