Marriage Counseling and Divorce

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Marriage Counseling and divorce are co-related concepts. Often, a divorce can be avoided, if the couple opts for marriage counseling. Every relation has its ups and downs. Marriage counseling is a way to handle these fluctuations in the marital relation. This counseling is carried out by professional counselors, who are trained in the psychological and other aspects of marriage.

The concept of Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling can be defined as a therapy that works on the basis of psychology, to resolve the conflicts between spouses. It is a method to resolve conflicts between the spouses by knowing the problem, and extinguishing it from the roots. It helps to bring the couple together to solve their marital problems and to decide a direction for their relationship. After a marriage counseling, the couple is be able to decide whether they want to be in a marriage, or go for dissolution.. It is a good method to resolve conflicts from a relationship, where the conflicts are in the primary stage.

Very few people are naturally endowed with relationship skills that are essential for solving problems and maintaining a marriage. In such circumstances, a marriage counselor can suggest new methods of fulfilling the individual requirements and finding solutions to problems in marital life.

Advantages of Marriage Counseling

• The counselor assists you to develop a profound understanding of what you are, what your spouse is, and what your respective requirements are. Using this knowledge, you can evaluate about the needs that can be fulfilled in the marriage and the ones that cannot be.

• After counseling, you can conclude whether your spouse is ready to collaborate and solve the conflicting issues, or whether your spouse is reluctant in this regard. Accordingly, you can take the decision to leave your spouse without any feeling of guilt.

• Marriage counseling provides a secure atmosphere to express your sorrow.

• The Counselor guides you on how to be assertive without any hint of being offensiveness. This will help you to speak about the conflicting issues with your spouse without any fear of hurting his / her feelings. During counseling, you can learn how to procure what is required without making demands or engaging in conflict.

• The counselor teaches you how to discuss your requirements with your spouse candidly, clearly, and without getting angry or showing resentment.

• During counseling, you can be trained in communication skills that would enable you to find solutions in a healthy way. For this, you need to hear and process what your spouse has to say.

Tips when Hiring a Marriage Counselor

• You need to speak and convince your spouse that both should take a combined appointment of a marriage counselor. Such a mutual decision may require some long and painful conversations

• Both partners should find a mutually agreeable marriage counselor who can be trusted. If one of the partners is suspicious that the counselor is not objective, then he / she would not believe that counseling would work successfully

• The spouses must bear in mind that marriage counseling would take some time to show results. Usually a problem builds up between the spouses over some months or years. It is thus, unwise to think that it would be overcome in 1 or 2 visits

• As the marriage counseling sessions proceed, the spouses must evaluate the progress in their marital life. They must discuss whether their marital problems are getting diminished. If this is not the case, they may try another counselor or some other option. The general observation is that within a few weeks of counseling, the spouses learn some tricks that are useful to continue the marriage

• The spouses must have a positive attitude towards counseling. They must always think that their marital problems can be resolved. The spouses must be attracted towards the reward of successful marriage counseling, that is, they would get a loving partner with whom they can grow old

Tips to find a Marriage Counselor

• To find a good marriage counselor is very necessary to carry out a successful counseling procedure. The couple should find a professionally well-known and experienced counselor.
• To know the methodologies used by the counselor, it is essential to interact with his or her previous clients.
• Marriage counselor should be comfortable with both partners. If any of the spouses do not like the methods and approaches of the counselor, the counseling process would not be much useful.

Marriage counseling can assist the couple to avoid dissolution of the marital bond. If a couple is going through the process of marriage counseling, it is necessary to involve the family members and friends in the same. It will help the couple to find out new perspectives of their relation and work on them with the help of a counselor.

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