Post Divorce Emotions

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A divorce can be a challenging situation that demands a lot of patience and a strong mind. It is not only a termination of marriage, but also a breakage of the emotional, and social bonds connected with a marriage. A breaking of marital union can prove very depressing for some people. Any ignorance in this matter can turn to become permanent mental problems, acute depression or even lead to serious health problems. Therefore, it is important to recognize and treat post divorce emotions in a right manner.

Some of the emotions are as follows:

Negative Emotions:

• Feeling of loss and longing for the previous relationships
• Feeling of helplessness due to the breaking of long and dependent relations
• Loneliness and frustration for the events that have occurred
• The sense of loss and identity problems

Positive Emotions:

• Acceptance that the previous marriage was not satisfactory and fulfilling
• A feeling of requirements for emotional and physical adjustments
• A need of creating a plan for the future life in order to develop a new identity
• Regaining a sense of control and power
• Experiencing the thrill of a new opportunity in life. Due to this, your mood can be elevated.

Management of Post Divorce Emotions

The emotions are completely dependent on the personal mindset, and ability to cope with the problems of an individual. Some spouses may look up to it as a new opportunity to start a life, while some of them may find it difficult to handle financial and emotional problems. Here are some tips to deal with the emotions in a better manner:

• The divorced person must be honest with himself/herself regarding their feelings. At this juncture, journaling is of great assistance. This simply means maintaining a diary. One should put all the thoughts that come in your mind in writing.
• Some people find that journaling is not suitable for them. Such people can approach a counselor. The intent is that they can reveal their innermost feelings to this professional. In turn, this counselor would assist them in dealing with the emotions.

• It is very tiring for the mind to handle emotions after a divorce and here, self-care comes into the picture. Some of the ways this can be attained are as follows:
  • Taking adequate rest
  • Not getting involved in stressful situations or thoughts
  • Placing non-essential items lower on the agenda of works to be done
  • Having a healthy diet
  • Indulging in hobbies or stress releasing activities
  • Making new social contacts and going out with friends regularly

• Divorce means change, and the process of change is not always smooth. At times, the individual may be enticed to retrospect, as this is simpler than reconstructing the new life. As a remedy, this person must retain a trust that they have taken the correct decision of divorce, and would be able to manage all the situations that prop up along this path. A person should always make sure that fear does not lead that person to doubting their abilities or overtaking their judgment.
• It is necessary to plan out the things carefully for a better future. However, to manage the things efficiently, a fresh mind and mood is required. So, a person should never hesitate to take a refreshing break after a divorce procedure. That would revitalize the senses and help in forgetting the past incidences.

Sometimes, the feeling that you have to 'move on' after the divorce can be threatening. This is particularly true if the person was married for a long duration. Such person has the concept that all they have is ' a broken home.' The negativity of this statement always troubles the person.

Here is one example of changing the attitude towards the separation. A divorced mother believed in the statement mentioned above. Post divorce, when her daughter was in the early teens, she asked the daughter whether the daughter felt that they belonged to a 'broken home'. The daughter replied that it was not a broken home but a home where 'remodeling' had taken place. The mother was taken aback by this answer. It changed all the emotions of the mother towards life.

Thus, no doubt a divorce is a painful incidence in a person's life. It should be treated with a positive mentality and confidence. Post divorce emotions play an important part in the life of divorcing spouses. Therefore, the knowledge of management of such emotions becomes mandatory for them.

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