Post Divorce Relationships

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Each divorced spouse must keep it in mind to display one's best behavior post divorce. When the spouses maintain polite conduct they would experience that awkward the circumstances have become manageable. It is essential to display tolerance. Each spouse should understand that the annoying and bad habits of their ex spouse are now irrelevant in their life. At this juncture, it is astute to remember the Golden Rule - 'Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.'

Precepts regarding Post Divorce Relationships

  • The couple should create 'divorce vows'. Accordingly, they must promise that they would treat one another with tolerance, compassion, goodwill and respect. It is advisable to forget the past incidences, and wish for a better future of each other.

  • Each partner must decide what is the most productive and positive behavior. Irrespective of how challenging it is, the partner should try to observe it. Rather than continuously fighting without any concrete result, it is better to dissolve the issues, and behave in a peaceful manner.

  • No divorced parent should guide their child to keep secrets from the other parent. Keeping secrets is equivalent to teaching them to lie. The parent must ascertain that the child need not have to cover up for what the parent has spoken or done.

  • Generally, an individual who is angry and hurt will not accept friendly overtures from an ex-spouse. If the ex-spouse realizes that the individual is in grief, the ex-spouse must make it a point to wait. If they rush to do something, it might be harmful to the healing procedure.

  • The divorced persons should simply stop blaming the ex-spouse. Irrespective of whether the divorced person voices the blame or retains it to himself/herself, the feeling that the ex-spouse should be blamed would hold him/her back. Verbal blaming would cause harm to the person, the ex-spouse, and all other individuals involved in the blame game. Accepting the faults will prove to be the best policy to handle relationships.

  • In the presence of their children, a person must never voice negative opinions regarding the ex-spouse. In some cases, there is absolutely no contact between the divorced individuals. In such scenarios they should not express any opinion about their ex-spouse or speak about them. This attitude would permit the children to develop their own opinion about the parents.

Post Divorce Relationships with former in-laws

When a divorce is granted by the court, this does not mean that the spouses must stop all friendship and communication with the former in-laws. One can understand that this sort of communication is a tough task. So, it is quite justifiable to wait for some time and then resume contact.

The parents should realize that every connection they retain offers a greater possibility of love and security for their children. So, these parents must respect the feelings of the in-laws regarding the relationship. While the parties communicate they must avoid speaking about the sensitive topics related to the ex-spouse. The parents must think and decide for themselves the topics they would get involved in, and those they would not comment on. This would obviously result in alleviation of any existing tension.

Post Divorce Relationships and Children

The most important thing in a divorce of the spouses with minor children, is the involvement of the children in the whole process. If there has been a stormy and contested case of dissolution, the hazardous and disturbing effects on a child remain for a lifetime. Therefore, it is advisable to have the compromises and get a mutual divorce. But, the responsibility of parents does not end here. Post divorce relationships of parents will have a strong effect on the upbringing and development of the children. Therefore, an amicable and friendly relation will build a sense of security in the children. The spouses should try to keep a clean image of the other partner in front of the child. Also, the non-custodial partner should make sure that enough time is given to the child to adjust with the changed conditions. The grandparents should be allowed to have their lot of time with children. That would ensure the children that they still belong to a family, though the parents are separated.

So, these are some tips to manage the relationships in a better manner. The understanding and maturity between spouses are two important factors while working on the relations after divorce. If partners find it difficult to bridge the gap between them, they can approach for professional help for the same.

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